Don't get me wrong, FrnakJ is as funny as ever, but I really miss the old IMWs, what with Bush playing Mario Cart, Rove hiding in the shadows, Condi Rice trying to nuke Finland (they know why) and the Rumsfeld Strangler strangling hippies.

How much do I miss them? This much, first in a series of reposting some of his posts.

A taste of "Chomps, the World's Angriest Egg Timer" to wet the whistle
Quote
At the front wall was a massive rottweiler, furiously chewing away at the metal chain that bound him.

"That chain is made from reinforced steel," Rumsfeld continued, "and thus it will take him about ten minutes to chew through. I recommend you all have asked your questions and left by then if you don't wish to be eviscerated."

"I have a question about finding WMD's in Iraq," said a reporter as he stepped forward while cautiously eyeing Chomps.

"Let's me you save you your breath," Rumsfeld answered, "I don't give a rat's ass."

And one of my favorite all time lines

"I would like to remind North Korea that we also have a plan for reducing the size of their military that involves nukes. Next question."

Now that's funny. I miss Rumsfeld.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:10 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 239 words, total size 2 kb.

Yeah, it's a Drudge link, so sue me.

In a new stem cell development we see the commies in China (grain of salt warning) claim a breakthrough in stem cells.
Quote
For the first time, they were able to produce live mice from stem cells that were coaxed from skin tissue of adult mice and then reprogrammed. And while there were abnormalities and unusual deaths with some of the first generation of mice, one team produced enough normal mice this way to create hundreds of second and third generation mice.

And notice, they were not embryonic stem cells.

I'm philosophically against using embryonic stem cells. Not for religious purposes (obviously, I don't believe), but because I don't like the slippery slope of creating humans to experiment on them. Of course, the commies are using non-embryonic stem cells to create life to experiment on it, but that's one example of why I hate commies. Even as they're doing something good, they have to do evil.

I always check every stem cell article I can find and, while they often try to confuse the issue, I have yet to see any major breakthrough come from embryonic stem cells, it's always different stem cells.

Posted by: Veeshir at 12:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 207 words, total size 1 kb.

As I was reading this NY Times article, I was thinking of updating the previous post about my agreeing with Norks.
But as I read further, I realized that it updated my first post, about Hillary giving the Norks a time out.

So I quote, you decide.
Quote
“Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl  (I wish. V) and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”

So I have to agree with that, in theory. I'm absolutely sure I don't want to see her in a Catholic School Girl Outfit, but she surely acts like someone with a thin grasp of the world.

So far, it looks like an update on the previous post.
But wait, there's still more!
Quote
For her part, Mrs. Clinton said she was encouraged by the international support for pressuring North Korea.

But, but, but, but you just said we should ignore them!?!?!?!?! So which is it? Pressure them or ignore them?

So, an update on the first post with a little "We've always been at war with Eastasia" thrown in.

But wait, there's still more!
Quote
Even Myanmar, she said, had responded to requests by China and other countries to track a North Korean freighter this month that American officials suspected was carrying illicit cargo.

Yeah, I bet. Burma's super tracking facilities consist of a dude on a hill with a pair of commie Chinese binoculars.

And gratuitously praising Burma? Seriously, why throw that in? There's absolutely no reason to just mention those Buddhist monk murdering despots. And as we read a little further on, the ship never made it to Burma because it turned around so the murderous Burmese dictators never had a chance for their dude with binoculars to see it.

And now just to throw in another amateur hour aspect of the current administration
Quote
But even before Thursday’s vitriolic statements from North Korea, American officials said they were more focused for now on inflicting pain on North Korea than on luring it back to the bargaining table.

But, but, but the Super Smart Sec State just said we were going to ignore them?!?!?! Which is it?

And that is why I've started capitalizing The Funniest End Of Civilization Ever and I'll soon have to add at least one exclamation point and maybe more with a few 1s thrown in.
Because nobody's in charge of foreign policy. There's a bunch of assholes and idiots running around saying whatever pops into their willfully ignorant, little brains and it's causing havoc in the world.

And that's the funniest part of all.
Anybody want to bet that all the world leaders,  including Iran's neighbors, who spent 8 years bashing Bush are not now saying, "Damn do we miss having adults in charge"?

Think about it, Iran's neighbors, all of them, not just the Jooooos, are scared shitless.

The EUniks are screwed, with Obama destroying our economy, theirs won't be far behind. And as we cut missile defense and lots of our defense spending, they'll be on their own. I hope they have good Russian dictionaries.

Even the murderous commies in China have to be bummed out. Bush wasn't any better at stopping their spying, but at least with him in charge all the American bonds and whatnot were worth something. They're going to be owed $billions by an America that can't afford to pay them.

Tsar Putin I in Russia is probably the only one who's happy, the only way Russia becomes a real player again is for the rest of the world to sink to their level.

What makes it funnier is as cities start going up in nukular fire and Russia and China start getting all invasiony, Obama will blame it all on the Republicans.

We are so screwed.

Posted by: Veeshir at 09:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 633 words, total size 4 kb.

The Smartest Womyn in the World is in the news again.
In this exciting episode, the Norks are making fun of her.
And they're right.
Quote
We cannot but regard Mrs Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community," the spokesman said.

When they're right, they're right. She's done it all the time. Like, oh, two days ago when she talked about accepting a nukular Iran. Which position Obama was surprised he had. Or, oh, when she suggested we ignore them and maybe they'll go away.

While I'm all in favor of ignoring most problems because they do go away (don't just do something, stand there!), but the Norks are lobbing missiles at our allies and blowing up nukes. That takes it out of the realm of the 90% of problems that will solve themselves.

More from Mr. Nork
Quote
Her words suggest that she is by no means intelligent," the statement said,

I'm gonna have to quibble with that, I personally think she's not stupid as the statement seems to imply, I think she's willfully ignorant and only feels warm in her leftist cocoon.

The problem is, of course, that willful ignorance and stupidity are, functionally, the same but WI is much worse. Stupidity isn't on purpose.

So, funny that I agree with the Norks, but I don't think it's all that endy. Certainly not enough to be an example of the, well, you know.

Posted by: Veeshir at 09:48 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 254 words, total size 2 kb.

I was watching this show about the death of the megafauna in Australia.

Apparently, around 50K years ago all animals over 55 lbs died off and nobody knows why.

As I was watching I was wondering, "When did people get there?".

After all, if you can hunt a kangaroo that weighs 400 lbs why would you go after one that only weighs 50 lbs? Sure it's harder to kill a huge kangaroo, but is it harder than killing 8 smaller kangaroos?

So as the show went on, they mentioned that people made it to Australia just about that time, maybe a thousand years earlier. So I figured, "Well, they'll say that maybe people did it."

But no, the narrator's attitude was basically wondering how people survived when all the other big animals died off.

So we have a small band of travelers who end up on Australia and, within a thousand years, all the large animals on the island are dead and they can't find any other change that occurred around that time.

Hmmmmm, that's only a conundrum for people who have to do a study to find that alcohol leads to lowered inhibitions (I've actually seen that study, I figured at the time it was just an excuse for "scientists" to go to bars to pick up college women, but alas, I think they were actually a little surprised by their findings).

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:39 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 1 kb.

Well I did it.
I gave money to Sarah Palin's legal defense fund.

Why? I saw another Minitru hit job on her, this one about another bullshit ethics complaint over that fund.

It's funny, people fall all over themselves saying she's not worth their time and yet, they surely do spend lots of time attacking.

The only thing I'm afraid of is that in my life, I've voted FOR a politician maybe 4 times and I could see myself voting FOR her.

I voted FOR Mario Cuomo. My excuse? That was back when I actually sorta trusted the media to not lie. Yeah, I was young and stupid.

I also voted For Moynihan. That one might have been okay. I've heard mixed things about him, but he did two things I have to respect, he coined the phrase, "Defining deviancy down", which pissed off the left then just as much as now, and he punched Kit Bond on the floor of the Senate. Too bad it wasn't Kennedy, but punching any Senator is a good thing most of the time.

I also voted FOR  Ronnie Raygun. That one I'm pretty proud of. Too bad he wasn't a Democrat, I could have voted for him twice! (badum-chee!)

I also voted FOR John McCain in the 2000 primary. Man was that stupid.

I'm still not sure I voted FOR Bush either or both times. I was definitely voting AGAINST the Gorebot and then John Effin Kerry (the worst presidential candidate, until the last election, in my lifetime. I've spent much of my adult life voting AGAINST Democrats, so that's the default. But.... I hated Bush's domestic agenda and only liked his foreign policy in regards to Iraq, Afghanistan and NoKo, he sucked up to China, kissed Putin's ass and was absolutely pitiful in how he dealt with the oil ticks and, well, he wasn't always so stalwartly against terrorism against Israel. If 9/11 hadn't happened, he would have been a one-termer and we would be in the second term of President Hillary. Funny how things work out.

So in other words, I'm at probably 50% in voting FOR.
Another Heinlein quote
 If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for ... but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that a truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.


I read that quote when I was pretty young, I had probably only voted once or twice, and that's generally been my voting stragety.

I've found that voting AGAINST is a much better voting stragety, the difference between "bad" and "worse" is always much more stark than the difference between "good" and "better".

Edited for spelling and again because I always put the % on the wrong side of the number. .

Posted by: Veeshir at 02:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 542 words, total size 4 kb.

Sure, it's cheap and it's easy (it is a Drudge link) but it's darn funny.

Today was the coldest day ever in Gore's hometown as he's screeching about how we need to give him another $hundred millions pass the climate bill or WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!11!!!!!!1!

While I love pointing and laughing, it's a stupid metric. First, our records don't go back very far. And most importantly, they haven't really been all that accurate for much longer than maybe 30-40 years.
The previous low was 1877, I'm gonna assume their tech wasn't all that great so the margin of error on their thermometers was probably pretty high. I mean, they didn't have computers and they certainly couldn't measure in thousandths of inches so it could have been colder or warmer.

Ditto arctic ice. Just because there's a real lot compared to our records, that's only the last 30 or so years since we have had accurate enough satellites to measure it.
I don't think Admiral Peary brought a yard stick to measure the ice at the North Pole in 1906.
The ice could have been 100 feet lower or higher in 1850 and only the polar bears would know.

Wait,no they wouldn't, they hate the freaking cold too. They do a walking hibernation as they stroll around mostly asleep during the winter.
That must be kinda weird, watching a polar bear sleepwalk on by.

I bet that's where the old wive's tale came from, it's very dangerous to wake a sleep-walking polar bear.

Posted by: Veeshir at 01:28 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 256 words, total size 2 kb.

Posted by: Veeshir at 01:16 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 0 words, total size 1 kb.

Updated below
Here we have DC's police chief being all angry and stuff that Teh Peepul are revolting (in at least two senses of the word, they're revolting against her and they're revolting to her).

Apparently there's an iPhone app that allows you to track speed traps, and as we all know, free speech doesn't include the right to oppose our political betters.
Area drivers looking to outwit police speed traps and traffic cameras are using an iPhone application and other global positioning system devices that pinpoint the location of the cameras.

And we can't have that, they're for our safety. (All the revenue is merely an unwanted side effect. It's all for our own good, we're just sooooo childish we need our betters to protect us).
Don't believe me?
"It's designed to circumvent law enforcement -- law enforcement that is designed specifically to save lives."

I wonder, did she say that with a straight face? DC is among the worst in coming up with creative ways to enhance revenue. Every couple years they get busted towing legally parked, out of town vehicles for instance.

Still from the first link.
Lanier said the technology is a "cowardly tactic"...

How about "fuck you" Lanier?
...and "people who overly rely on those and break the law anyway are going to get caught" in one way or another.

We'll get you. And your little car too.
This is from the guy who came up with the app

Founder and CEO of PhantomAlert Joe Scott claimed nine out of 10 police departments across the country support his software....

Ummm, I'm with you Joe, but I call bullshit on that. You're messing with their revenue. That's unpatriotic and downright unAmerican. It's not as if our country was founded in response to a heavy handed gov't imposing ridiculous regulations and taxes while taking our freedom.

Oh wait....

"If police come against us, it's going to make them look like they are only [after] revenue" from the camera-generated citations, he said.

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 471 words, total size 4 kb.

You knew my first post had to be about The Funniest End of Civilization Ever.

So our super fantastic Secretary of State, the Smartest Womyn in the World^tm  let's us know NoKo isn't all that big a deal.

"And maybe it's the mother in me or the experience that I've had with small children and unruly teenagers and people who are demanding attention -- don't give it to them, they don't deserve it, they are acting out," she said

So what were these 'unruly children' doing?

North Korea tested a nuclear device in May and fired seven ballistic missiles earlier this month

That "earlier this month" was, of course, the poofy haired maniac celebrating the 4th of July.

So far just mostly endy, but now we get to teh funny from the super diplomat/genius.

They don't pose a threat to us. We know that our allies, Japan and South Korea, are very concerned."

I'll translate, that's super-genius, diplomatese for "Sucks to be you".

See? Both endy and funny.

Posted by: Veeshir at 02:45 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 175 words, total size 1 kb.